Endless
by: A.C.R

I was regretting the past, and fearing the future.
I want to be happy, but I can’t, I don’t know why.
I should have been easier on you, but I wasn’t.
And now I just let the days go by.
Without feeling, without seeing, without knowing.
I thought I could trust you, but I found out that I couldn’t.
And now I realize that you never heard one word I ever said.
I kind of get the feeling I’m being used, but it’s not for sure.
You dragged me down into the terror inside your mind.
You’re convinced that you’ve found your place,
But you haven’t,
This is my place, my own sweet sorrow.
When you were yourself it tasted sweet,
But then it sours into a routine deceit.
If you could just get inside my head, then you would see,
Then you would understand me.
Why I’ve felt so alone.
But you think I’m contagious, you’re afraid to get close.
You’re inside the crushing down, of the strangest dream.
Life is unloved, cities burn.
I’d gladly trade a piece of my soul, for the pulse of life.
The tide is turning,
The flow of encrypted movement comes closer yet.
I swept the pain aside, for it was too much to withstand.
You should see what you do to my head.
Maybe if you had known, that when you left,
I could finally breath again.
I’ll try not to make you cry now.
But you judged me so self-righteously,
When you hardly knew me at all.
Your eyes wandered, turning the corners of perception into death.
The darkness swirls through my eyes, almost unbelievable.
I feel this pang of loneliness, it invades every part of my body.
So strong now is the pain,
Almost unbearable, I pull through somehow.
The tears pour down my face.
You twist the truth into more of your ugly lies.
You spit the words out, so hurtful they are.
But you don’t care,
You’ve ripped my heart out,
Almost like I had no feelings.
I wish someone could hear me,
But do I even dare break this silence?
I want to scream at the top of my lungs.
I feel like I’m being pulled in half by some invisible monster.
But no, it’s just you, you’re so unpredictable.
Yet time goes on,
I dream my lonely dreams,
The sun rises, without being seen.
Everything is spinning out of control.
I’m on the road to nowhere.
I’m all by myself, but then I’m not alone.
I’m haunted by your fear,
It’s so dark, so blank, there’s nothing.
The world is going to break.
I’m going to find a way, to feel alive,
Even if I’m not.
The lies wrap around you, squeezing you,
The bitter sights now believed, once more remain unseen.
Yet, I am the one that feels your pain.
This is a never-ending nightmare.
This sleepless imposter plays with our fate.
Erasing our desperate thoughts.
I crash, longingly into the flames.
My truths are withheld,
Drowning promises and regrets.
The coldness falls around us,
So silently, almost a whisper.
It breaks through our cursed dreams.
This just isn’t logical.
Whenever I get close to you,
You turn away from me in hatred.
I should have told you before,
But I couldn’t.
I was trying to escape from the love you offered to me.
But now I’m going to find a way,
To wrap my arms around you.
And finally, finally wake up.
The light washes over my still, serene body.
With you sleeping so silently beside me.